My Flower

I'm 27 years old and I'm not ashamed to say I lost my flower back in mid-July. Someone stole my flower. (actually I'm not entirely sure if that's true, but it's fun to say!).

Backtrack... I love my jean jacket. And I LOVE my flower on my jean jacket. I probably should be embarrassed by how much I love it, but luckily, I have a high embarrassment threshold. It's part of my signature look. I feel the most jen pham in it. It's me.

And now, it's nothing but a phantom limb.

I was de-flowered (but not de-valued!)at another 90s night. It fell off of me while I was dancing. And I didn't notice until we stepped outside the bar to go home. I was heartbroken in my drunken state. The bouncer wouldn't let me back in because I was such a mess (emotionally, mentally and physically). So my friend Mario went back in to look for my beloved flower (sidenote: Is that a friend or what?!). He came out empty-handed. My heart dropped.

The next morning, we woke up and the pain of loss was still stinging. So I called the bar and was advised to email Lost and Found.

Hi there!Last night, I lost my flower at your bar. It's not how it sounds! I have a light greenish/yellowish flower with small black polka dots that I pin to my jean jacket and it must have fallen off because I was having too good a time at 90s night! (Is there such a thing though?) Would you guys be able to look for it and let me know if you do or don't find it? I would really appreciate it.

Thanks!
Jen Pham
Sent from my pretend iPhone!  

The most grueling two days later...(I swear it was worse than waiting for a boy to text you!)

Hi Jennifer,
I just looked through our Lost and Found and unfortunately we don't have your flower.
Best,
Jessie 

I began the mourning process. Because it was summer, I didn't really need a jean jacket during the day. But the nights were the hardest. I posted a picture of my last night on Instagram and Facebook with my flower. Letting the world know of its fate.

But a couple of good things transpired from my loss. I re-learned the true meaning of friendship. First, when Mario went back to look for my flower. (you guys, picture a drunken grown ass Mexican, scouring a dance hall full of nostalgic millennials for my flower... I can only hope to one day be able to repay the favor!). Then again, a few weeks later, I traveled down to Charleston, SC to help my best friend get married. And on her wedding day, her mom, cousin, and her surprised me with a new flower!!! A new flower that they handmade! Some pieces were even from Taylor's wedding dress! Yes, they cut up her dress to make me a new flower! If that ain't friendship, I don't know what is! Juuuust kidding! They used scraps leftover from alterations. It was lovely and I felt so ridiculous and ridiculously loved!

Before I debut my new flower, here is a blog nod to my old flower.

Thank you flower for allowing me to walk through the years we had together with grace, style, confidence and lots of compliments! R freaking I P. You will be missed and never forgotten.

Oh and yes, I'm gonna try and start blogging again. You are totes welcome.

Lollapalooooooza

Last month, I flew to Chicago to see some old college friends #omg, I can't believe I can say that now?


But also to attend Lollapalooza ... and it was such an awesome time!!

My musical highlights were Lady Gaga's Monster Ball set, the crowd chanting to "Wake Up" after Arcade Fire's colorful performance, swaying to Stars and dancing to Kaskade in a field completely dedicated to raving. Awesome.

But really, all the acts we saw were great and it was such an amazing experience. Probably not the same as it was back in the early 90's ... but still lots of fun.

An unexpected surprise was the culinary lineup! There were two food courts that featured a lot of delicious organic, vegan/vegetarian and gluten-free options. It also made me very happy to see that a lot of items sold out, meaning that there is a demand for particular eaters like me!

Things I'd like to see change: Budweiser was the official sponsor so naturally that was the only beer that was sold. I don't know anyone that would want Budweiser to have a monopoly on such a grand scale.

Well, maybe my daddy. :)

Airport Visit

When I landed in Dallas way back in July, La Beast was supposed to be flying out to London that same day. So she came way early to the airport so we could spend some quality time together before we parted ways again. She's such a great friend.

Ever since we graduated high school, we don't ever get to spend as much time together as we'd like due to college and first jobs. But we make it work with these little visits. One day, I am confident that we will find a way to live in the same city as adults. Because life is always better when she is around!

Is this part of growing up? Having to leave behind your childhood friends and phamily to chase your dreams? During interviews, I am frequently asked "What is the biggest sacrifice that you have had to make so far?" And I always answer with not being able to be around my phamily and friends all the time.

During college and even into my first job, I make frequent and lengthy phone calls/emails punctuated with visits during the holidays. And I think that's enough for me (obviously, I would love more) because things don't seem "different" or "awkward" when I visit home and it's almost like I never left. I think that's the best part.