28 July 2011

RHONYC Reunion, part 1

You guys, I am OBSESSED with the Real Housewives of New York City. Cannot.stop.watching.these.bitches.

With that said, this season has been a little disappointing for me. It fluctuated between me sitting on the edge of my seat and tweeting every 5 seconds to listening to music and surfing the web with the show on in the background in case I don't miss anything. However, the reunion show (that aired Monday night) was most excellent. So good that I had to blog about it. Seven middle-aged upper class ladies dressed to the nines engaging in what can only be described as verbal hair-pulling. Amaze-balls.

Here's my breakdown:

First is the worst. Cindy Barshop. She is my least favorite housewife of NY. No personality. No affinity for life or people. I noticed immediately at the beginning of the show that she kept twitching her face to show disdain at every comment one of the girls was making. Too much botox, or too much hate? At first, I thought to myself "I wish she'd smile more." But then she did and I immediately regretted thinking that. I don't even know why she even does the show because she clearly stated several times, more or less in these words, that she hates the type of relationship that girlfriends have. In fact, the only relationship she knows is a business relationship. Oh yes, that also applies to her brother and her kids. Alex McCord hit the nail on the head when she told Cindy that "she was a sourpuss and needs to get laid." BEST.LINE.OF.THE.NIGHT. For me, there is a fine line between drama-seeking and just plain hateful. And for that, I think Cindy needs to go. Who wants to help me start the campaign?

Poor Alex, I feel bad for her. Not because she was sorta ganged up on by the brunettes... she instigated and deserved all of those taunts. But because she seems very bored. So bored that she makes it her place to get involved in other people's issues (read Ramona and Bethenney). I guess I would be too if my husband were gay. Speaking of Simon, Alex must live in some kind of dismissive 50s household. She seems very unsure of herself, gets very flustered easily and speaks with little conviction. She also thinks it's OK for men to yell at their wife's friends WHEN THEY DESERVE IT. There was some weird underlying tone that I felt when she said it. It was whatever men do to women, it's because they deserve it. Don't get me wrong. Men are allowed to yell at women. But what Simon did at the gay marriage event was more than just yelling, he also used his body language to threaten Sonja. And mean-tweeting was not designed for grown men. I do not think Simon's behavior is/was appropriate at all. Alex just set women back 50 years. So thanks for that bitch.

Kelly is the Cosmo and self- proclaimed "5th Nicest Celebrity." (LOL!) She announced her new title at the beginning of the episode and then chose to spend the entire rest of the night proving that she was not. She hypocritically criticized Sonja for living beyond her means and not having a "real" job like Cindy and called everyone weird. Don't believe everything you read Kelly. I'm also mad at her for simmering Cindy down after Alex's "need to get laid" line. Way to go Kelly.

In my opinion, Jill has grown up a lot. Is she a better person? I wouldn't go that far. But she really has tried to keep the peace or at least play nice, albeit you can tell it was all an act. And I deeply respect anyone that tells it like it is. Because Alex has shown her true colors and really is a bitch. However, I do not believe for one nanosecond that Jill is scared of Bethenney. And I refuse to believe that Mario is cheating on Ramona. All LIES.

Ramona used to be my favorite character. But she kinda rubbed me the wrong way this season. Though she did handle herself very well with Cindy, Ramona's dig at Luann and her kids was low and put a sour taste in my mouth. Otherwise, she was really uncharacteristically quiet for most of the episode. I think she's going through something. Her marriage? Menopause? Whatever is stirring inside of her, I hope she lets it out soon. I have an inkling that a quiet Ramona is a deadly Ramona. Hm, I always liked red wine anyway.

Luann was most interesting. She was neutral and didn't really take sides. Which would have been fine, if she didn't carry around her an air of haughtiness. Unsolicited etiquette advice is the worst. Didn't she ever learn that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? Wherever she got her etiquette lessons, she needs to get a refund pronto. Also, did the makeup artist skip her? She looked like she had just walked 10 blocks in the 96 degree humid NYC weather.

Sonja won favorite housewife! And rightfully so. She was the most well-behaved and definitely the most human of all of them that night. Any conflict that headed her way, she gracefully deterred. She is also nice and opens her arms to each and every Housewife, even Cindy. I also love her zest for life. I'm going to go ahead and nominate Sonja to be the Ambassador of all the Housewives. Or is that Andy Cohen's job?

What did you guys think?! I would love to hear it all!!

And don't worry kids, it's not over yet. That was just part 1. There's a part 2 that airs next week. HOORAY!

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